Cinderella (Walt Disney 1950)


The 12th Disney Classic is your stereotypical Disney princess movie. The girl has a crappy life, probably because of something her parents or step parents did. They could have pissed off a witch or …died. But don’t worry the prince is here to save her and marry her so she can live ‘Happily ever After’. Even though the couple only just met, they are head over heels in love. With this film I mean it literally.

We all know the plot of Cinderella. She is forced to clean her house under orders of her evil step mother. The king then decides to have a ball to find suiters for her son to marry. Unfortunately, Cinderella is not allowed to go. However, when her Fairy God Mother shows up, she is made beautiful but only until the stroke of midnight. At the ball she finds the prince and they fall in love (gross). When she runs away because her time is running out, she loses a glass slipper. With this slipper the prince goes around the kingdom to see whose feet it would fit. As the shoe only fits Cinderella, he marries her. Of course there are a few issues with this. If the shoe fit her perfectly why did it fall off? Also there are a lot of people with the same shoe size. AND shouldn’t her recognise her anyway? She only had her hair tied up, a bit more make up on and a fancy dress; he obviously didn’t love her that much. But as this is a Disney film, it’s a bit silly to get into the logic of the film.

The film opens with the classic princess way, they even do this in Shrek (Vicky Jenson, 2001). It’s a story book setting up the narrative of the film because being creative must have been difficult back in the 50’s. It does though speed up the whole character introduction. We then get to see the beautiful soon to be princess as an adult. She wakes up happy, gorgeous and talking to animals. This is biggest lie of the film. To make things even more ridiculous she happily sings. I look like death when I wake up, want to kill the birds outside for chirping and if I sing it’s normally in a dull morning voice.  I have been told by people I live with that I look like a troll before my morning cup of tea.


Now I’m going to excuse the talking animals because it’s Disney so you expect nothing less. The made a film about talking toys so I don’t think they strive for realism. Plus some of the animals are super cute. The best animal is defiantly the cat Lucifer. Perfectly describes cats.  Cinderella helps these animals and has so much empathy for everything. Why are all the princesses like a perfect representation of women? It does give little girls an idea of how to behave but I’m not sure if that is entirely a good thing. I might just be in shock about how differently she acts compared to me. For example, if I was forced to cook and clean for my bitchy step mum and sisters and she treated me like that, I’m 100% sure that I would have put draining fluid in their morning tea by now.  I mean Cinderella even pulls a Snow White by ‘Whistling while she works’ because all good women enjoy house work. I think the final straw would be my step sisters destroying my dress so I couldn’t go out.

cin cleaning

Luckily, Cinderella has a Fairy God Mother, who for some reason has only just decided to help her, despite the poor girls past few years. Again I would forgive this because of how catchy her song is.  All bad things in a film can be forgiven with a great musical number!

Have a good time, dance, and be gay.

A quote that would defiantly mean something different now but would still be just as fun!


Despite Cinderella being forced to cook and clean the prince is also being forced to Marry. He looks so done with everyone until he meets Cinderella. They fall in love instantly, like all films like this. I guess they are getting better at realism now with Kristoff and Anna in Frozen (Chris Buck &Jennifer Lee 2013) but it did take a while. We even get another good song to celebrate. To fit with the conventions of a romance, there are conflicts and in this case it’s the spell that for some reason only lasts till midnight. I know that my night out last till about 4am but for children 12 is pretty late.


People attempt to try on the glass slipper but luckily for us they don’t stick to the original with people cutting off toes and parts of their heels. I can’t stress how disturbing many of the Disney films would be if they stuck to the original fairy tales. They would all probably have a 15 age rating. Disney has been lying to us since the start. The shoe fits her and she gets married the next day because that’s how love works kids.

There we go, I guess the moral of the story is to wait and suffer through life until a magical old lady and a handsome man comes to save you. The film is typical for a film of this era and has the usual style for Disney. I think the only reason it’s considered a great film is because of its age and brand. It’s very average and puts across some questionable messages. The music is good for the era but the soundtracks of Disney have defiantly got better.

How have you not seen this? – Deathbyapril- April Ely.


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Mean Girls (Mark Waters 2004)



Mean Girl is just one of those classic teen flicks that pretty much everyone has seen… even my Nan has seen it. So when you read through this, expect a few spoilers because I’m just assuming that you have watched the film. It’s the film for all teens and the last film where we remember Linsey Lohan to be sane.

Cady (Lohan) was home-schooled in Africa but has been forced to start high school in America. She must embrace this new life and put up with the Clicks of the school. She makes friends with Janice (Lizzy Caplan) and Damian (Daniel Franzese) who are two less popular losers. However, when she is invited to sit with the ‘Plastics’ Regina George (Rachel McAdams), Gretchen Wieners (Lacey Chabert) and Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried)  she goes undercover to see what their live are really like.

The film opens with Cady’s mum and dad talking to her like it’s her first day of primary school, this is shown through the condescending language and the tilted up camera angles. However, it is in fact her first day of the worst place on earth, high school. We get voice overs straight away so we know that this film is going to have a constant narrative from our main characters, this does get a little weird when she starts to imagine other characters as wild animals (but to be fair it’s pretty similar).

You get to experience the sad life of secondary/high school, with people just being rude, teachers telling you off and finding it difficult to talk to anyone. We also get the fantastic health class speech.

Don’t have sex because you will get pregnant and die.

The worst thing of all though is defiantly the stuck up bitches that you always get, the prom queen that everyone loves and fears but let’s face it they are essentially the devil. You also get the hot guys that they get to date but you will never get a chance with. But from watching this film do you really want to be popular? There is so much drama and a lot of rules. I don’t want to care about what I eat or worry about what a wear to fit in. If I want to wear tracks to class then I will!!

We also learn that it is great to have rich parents that you can walk all over. Regina’s room is incredible. But when her mother is basically an older version of her you can understand why Regina gets away with what she does. What is even better is the fact that her mother is played by the fantastic Amy Poehler.  It’s weird seeing Leslie Knope having a dog bite her nipples because her boob job is hard as rock.


As this film came out more than ten years ago it taught me a lot about the rules of being a teenager. For example, Halloween is for dressing up like a slut rather than scary. This is a rule I didn’t start to follow until I hit 18. I also learnt how much of a bitch girls can be, they can be manipulative and back stabbing but from my own experience when you find some great friends they are none of these things and pretty much treat you like family … just try not to piss them off because girls still gossip about girls they are friends with.


The climax of the film is basically everyone getting pissed off because a few popular girls decided to start horrible rumours about each other. Again emphasising how horrible high school can really be and how the worst part about it is the other students. But what is the best way to get girls to stop fighting? Get their hair wet that’s how! But after that they go through what actually bothers people and you realise that everyone is a victim. They then went and apologised to everyone they hurt but some of these were pretty poor.

I don’t hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

However, after all this Cady’s life goes back to the way it was at the very beginning, she was hated until she admitted that she started some of the drama. This is where she apologises and makes a mend (how cliché) by missing most of prom to attend a math competition. The moral of this story is don’t be a bitch because people will hate you and you may even be hit by a bus, which was the unlucky fate of Regina. To make things even better Cady wins prom queen (not sure how) but with the crown she splits it up and gives it the other girls of the school. This is probably the only nice part of the film.  This kind gesture enables her to get the guy of her dreams. AGAIN HOW CLICH.


I would rate this 8 and of 10. It’s a great classic teen flick but doesn’t compare to some of the fantastic cinematic pieces of our time.

How have you not seen this? – Deathbyapril- April Ely.


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Gravity Falls (Disney XD- Alex Hirsch , 2012-2016)


Who knew a cartoon could be so good. Well besides all children and to be honest a lot of adults. But who knew that adults would enjoy a cartoon aimed at children. No, I’m not talking about ‘Bronies’ I’m talking about Gravity Falls. The great show that unfortunately ended in 2016 after just two seasons.gravity falls

When Dipper and Mabel (Jason Pitter and Kristen Schall) visit their grunkle/ great uncle Stan (Alex Hirsch) at the mystery shack, Dipper finds a book in the forest that details the supernatural beings that live in the town of Gravity Falls. The twins encounter these creatures in a number of their adventures. With the help of the book, the other guys at the Mystery Shack and their wits they must fight gnomes and slaughter zombies. It’s all a bit similar to the younger Sam and Dean Winchester in CW’s Supernatural (2005-).

triangle guy

This wacky comedy keeps those of all ages engaged with both visual and audible comedy. They even throw in a few adult jokes. The dialogue will make you laugh out loud. The twins have a fantastic presence along with the many other lovable characters. There is Mable with her incredibly stylish turtle neck jumpers and Dipper with his book of the dead. Other characters include the horrific monsters, such as the golf ball people that decide your fate at mini golf and Cipher the floating triangle that looks far too similar to the Illuminate logo *Que X files theme song*. However, by far the best character is Mabel’s pet Pig Waddles. I mean how can you not love an adorable pet pig!


GRAVITY FALLS – “Time Traveler’s Pig” 

The show follows the traditional structure of a TV series, with season finales and cliff hangers. This means that watching the show in order would be beneficial in understanding the plot. But since many children don’t have the sense to Sky Plus the show, some parts must be confusing ,especially since the show stopped airing in early 2016 after just 2 seasons.


However, to celebrate, the creators left a scavenger hunt for the fandom. This took place in the small city of Reedsport (population 4,000), where fans gathered in the woods in the middle of the night. Bit creepy but it does fit with the style of the show.

This show is one of the high quality shows for kids brining back nostalgia from when Disney, Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon actually had good stuff. I mean Disney’s ‘Dog with a Blog’ was rock bottom for the channel. I miss show like ‘Courage the Cowardly Dog’!

So even if you aren’t the recommended age just give it a go. The show is original and a good 20 minute chill out after a long day at school or the office. I love to sit back and relax after a long day at the BBC studios. It may be Disney but Disney is good.


How have you not seen this? – Deathbyapril- April Ely.


Follow me on twitter @apriely31 and Instagram deathbyapril for more updates.