Week 1: the week before Halloween.
Week 2: the week of Halloween.
W\eek 3: the week after Halloween.
Finishing off the horror Halloween theme is the scariest thing of all, a Disney movie. Yes it’s time to re-live the Halloween of our childhood and put ourselves in the shoes of three children that just can’t seem to grasp the complex nature of leaving things alone! Rule 1 is don’t light the candle, so three guesses what our idiotic heroes do.
The film opens like any other Disney movies, children having their life force removed, children being turned into cats, witches being hanged and references to virgins (a concept some of us never understood when they first watched this as a child). Luckily for us , these far too scary features are all just a class room story being told to group of students who pretty much represent the living embodiment of Halloween In America (way too onto their holidays). When Max (Omri Katz) lights a candle he finds in an old witches house, three witches Winifred “Winnie” Sanderson,(Bette Midler),Mary Sanderson,(Kathy Najimy) and Sarah Sanderson(Sarah Jessica Parker) are brought back from the dead. Unfortunately, for Max his sister Dani (Thora Birch) and crush Allision (Vinessa Shaw) our three monsters have a taste for children. Therefore, it is up to our hero’s to destroy the witches’ book and save the other children.
With any Disney film, we need someone we hate and want vengeance upon and we also need sensitive issues brought up. Usually for the franchise we get dead parents but this time they settled for bullying. There is no one we want dead more than those who bully our heroes. But again this is Disney so the worst thing they do is steal his Halloween candy. Now if I was bullied like that in school, compared to how I really was, I would be pretty happy But as life has taught me ‘life isn’t a Disney film’… unfortunately.
One thing the film defiantly has In common with all the other horror films we watch and I mean ALL OF THEM, is someone doing something very stupid and in this case it is to get the girl. This is of course the perfect motive for anything. Yes our characters break into a haunted house, lights a black flame candle and read from the book. In my opinion they are just asking for the evil dead to show up. And by ‘evil dead’ I mean three crazy witches who mistake a hoover for a broom, are terrified by buses and fire engines and are convinced that a guy in a Halloween costume is the dark lord himself. It is Disney after all.
And as this is a Disney movie you can always count on signing. With spells that require singing and just general random musical numbers, you got to love the film even more. However, the best musical number is hands down I put a spell on you. Finally Disney uses a song that doesn’t require you to watch the film at least 5 times for you to be able to sing along.
I would also like to state that if you think this film may be a bit young for you, there are enough sexual innuendoes to please the dirtiest of minds.
“We desire children”
“Hey it might take me a few times but I don’t think it will be a problem”
A joke I defiantly didn’t get when I was younger.
But with a film where the children are the good guys and the grownups are either evil or too stupid to pay attention, it is up to our heroes, to be cleaver and … trick the witches into a giant kilim and burn them alive?!? Again this sounds a bit too rough for a Disney film. However, as Hansel and Gretel, isn’t a very reliable source, the burning doesn’t work and our false ending continues. On the other hand, they do use tips from CW’s Supernatural and use good old fashioned table salt to harm our witches.
Check out my Supernatural review here:
With Disney’s attempt to be scary, the final showdown happens in the old graveyard. Where the Witches fly around, make some loud noises and insults, pick some people up and eventually get burnt by the sun. So all In all, its’ not the children that saved the day but nature. This made the film slightly disappointing. But I will tell you one thing; the scariest thing about the entire film is the crappy 90’s special effects. When you can tell it’s a green screen, you probably shouldn’t be using one.
So after all my horror Halloween suggestions, I thought it was time for a film for all audiences. Therefore, I wanted to suggest the best family horror film there is and a true 90’s classic. Hocus Pocus, which is defiantly one to watch this season. I would give it five screams.
How have you not seen this?
Deathbyapril- April Ely
Check out my Twitter @apriely31 and Instagram deathbyapril for more updates.
If you missed weeks 1 and 2 of the Halloween reviews, check out the links below.